Adventure Hook: A Goblin with a Parcel

A goblin in an apron cleans a pint glass.
Arvil, the front-of-the-house goblin at the Free Basement Publican. Image by Khris Soden.


Recently on Twitter, I wrote “My low-level players hang out in a bar staffed by two goblins – the only known goblins in town. Next game, one of the goblins puts down 50 GP and asks them to deliver a package. What’s in the package and where does it need to go?” I already had a few answers in mind, but I thought that it’d be fun to see what other people came up with. Here are the responses that I received:
[Links to the original tweets are attached to each person’s Twitter handle.]

  • “It’s a care package to a bugbear he has had a crush on for many years. It needs to be delivered to the bugbear settlement just outside the Weird Wood.” – @unrulyian
  • “It’s a get well gift for their mum who is very sick… but it’s based in goblin shamanism so IF peeked at looks very suspicious and “evilly.” To make matters worse, the goblins KNOW it’s suspicious and act as such while handing it over. #DontJudge #MoralChoices #FalsePretenses” – @Nominrath
  • “Food stuffs and some alcohol. The goblins are thinking of moving into a delivery service and one of their patrons ordered the package as a test of their capabilities. Unfortunately he has the package going through a well known bandit monitored highway to test the new delivery ppl” – @VeinexesVideos
  • “The box has the head of a neighboring tavern owner’s dog. It’s going to Gus MacTavert, self-declared head of the brewer’s guild, and the owner of the dog has been refusing to set his prices according to syndicate guidelines…” – @JohnLeeArtStory
  • “Rings of disguise that allow the users to appear as simple goblins, it is going to a group of kobolds who are trying to have humans wipe out with a neighboring goblin tribe” – @ari_covert
  • “It’s a parchment roll. It has detailed town schematics including the treasury and bank. It’s going to the thieves guild in another town, but not for the purposes of robbery. It’s for security because there’s a famous crew coming in from another continent.” – @LawDogStrikes
  • “It’s more goblins. Instant goblin, just add water.” – @ThemDave
  • “The remains of the goblins mother, or some loved one, and it must be delivered to an area deemed sacred by the goblins former tribe. It has everything, morality, danger, exploration, and room for growth.” – @robthedm
  • “Underdark exotic fungi spores for an apothecary. Mixed in among the Nilhogg Nose mushrooms and Ormu moss a few myconid sprouts were accidentally collected. Adult Myconids are attempting to intercept the package and return to their colony with their abducted offspring.” – @Wax_Da_Stache
  • “A devastation orb for a collector of cult oddities.” – @Wax_Da_Stache
  • “Stolen jewelry that was rescued from an old shipwreck. They need it delivered to a gang in another town. There the players find out the truth about the goods after some mystery plot and are needed to track down and steal them back to the righteous owner. How about that? ;)” – @I_AmOzymandias
  • “Deed for plot of land from local lord; the two goblins’ tribe can move onto land safely without harassment from locals.” – @QuestingHeroes

I liked all of the ideas, and one of them was incredibly close to what I had been originally thinking of doing. I like make surprises for myself by adding random elements to my games, though, so I decided to organize these ideas on a d100 table and roll to see what the goblin actually wants to have delivered:

d100 Roll Result
01 – 06 Stolen jewelry with a mysterious past.
07 – 15 Exotic spores for an apothecary with some myconid sprout stowaways.
16 – 24 Simple food and alcohol sent as a test run for a future delivery service.
25 – 37 A care package for a bugbear crush.
38 – 50 A suspicious-looking get well gift for an ailing loved one.
51 – 63 The remains of a loved one, bound for a sacred resting place.
64 – 76 A deed to a plot of land where the goblin’s tribe can live safely.
77 – 89 A parchment roll featuring detailed town schematics.
90 – 94 Instant Goblins!
94 – 97 The head of a dog belonging to a rival tavern owner.
98 – 99 Rings of Goblin Disguise!
00 A devastation orb for a collector of cult oddities.
Ilbog, the back-of-the-house goblin that only rarely cooks with human meat. Image by Khris Soden